Another Mothers day....
Another day without you Mum...
I miss you so much... Every day..
My heart aches...day after day...
I miss the time we spent together. We saw each other every day...
You were such a huge part of my life...as I know I was of yours too...
You were not only my Mum...you were my best friend too...the one and only person I could talk to about anything at all...always there to listen....to make endless cups of tea whilst we just talked and talked...for hours...we also laughed a lot too...Frank said he always knew when I was with you...as he could hear the laughter..
I am so so glad we were so close...so glad we got to spend all that time together...
It just makes losing you...being without you so so hard to bear...
The pain...the emptiness...hasn't got any easier with the passing of time Mum...
I still cry...I still talk to you...I just wish you were here to hear me and answer me...
It is said that you never know what you have until it's gone...
Well...I knew what I had...A special Mum and friend...loyal...honest...down to earth...and always there for me...as I was for you....it was a two way street wasn't it Mum?
Life just isn't the same any more...
I don't enjoy life....I just endure it now...
I am thinking of you today....as I do every single day...
I thank you...for being my Mum...my best friend...for always being there...
I am so proud to have been your daughter...
I love you Mum...
I miss you....I always will...
You're in my heart and my thoughts constantly
Your heart-broken Daughter
Kim
-x-

My dear Mum....
I hope you know how much I love and miss you...
I so wish we could spend this...your 83rd Birthday...together...
I would give the world just to see you once more...give you a hug and a kiss...hear you laugh...
Every day is so difficult Mum...without you here...I feel totally lost...alone...and so lonely...
I think of you...and Dad....every single day....
I miss you....and Dad....every single day too...
Will this pain...this feeling of loss every leave me?
Without you...my Mum... my best friend...there is no life for me...just an existence...
Memories are lovely...so is looking at photos of times we spent together...but...they just cannot compare to spending time with the people you love and miss so much...
You were always there...to listen...to give advice...to just have a laugh with...as we put the world to rights...I so miss that Mum...
Words are inadequate Mum...to express how I feel each and every day without you..
I shall go to the Cemetery today...to put some beautiful flowers on the grave....I will sit on 'our seat'...talk to you...have a cry...as I always do...
I thought you would always be there Mum...as you always were...
Without you...I'm not the same person any more...it's like I have 'shut down'...
Today..I send you all my love...a kiss and a hug...wish I could do it in person...
Love you Mum...
Your heart-broken Daughter
Kim -x-

My dear Mum....my best friend...
Waking up today to another sad, empty and lonely Christmas without you...
I so wish you were here with me...so we could make the best of the day together...you, me, Jon and Josie...
I think back to all the wonderful times we had at Christmas together...plus at other times of the year too...and it really breaks my heart....
After Dad passed away it really wasn't the same was it Mum?
We tried....we did our best...to get through the day...but it was so hard without Dad...
I miss you...so much more than words could ever express..I am broken...empty...so sad and lonely...without you there...
Today is just another day...it has no special meaning any more...it's just another day to get through the best I can...
I still feel the raw grief of losing you...I still cry...I still talk to you down at the Cemetery...on 'our' seat...
Will this pain ever end?
Even though I can look back at some lovely pictures...and the memories...it's no substitute for having my Dear mum...my best friend...here today...
I will do my best...to get through today...as I do every day...try to hold in my tears and my pain...and be grateful for the times we did share...but feel so sad...at the times we will no longer share...
You're in my thoughts...and in my heart...today...and every day to come dear Mum...
I love you...and miss you so much it hurts....

We can ask and ask...
But we can't have again what seemed ours forever...
The way things looked...
A remembered voice...
The touch of a hand...
A loved face...
they're gone....
And you can only wait for the pain to pass...

Your heart-broken Daughter
Kim
-x-

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

Dear mum...
It's now been 2 years since you left me....totally bereft, heartbroken and lost...
I miss you...and think of you all the time...
I know you loved me very much....I know you were proud of me too...I still get told that often...
It breaks my heart to know that you should still be here....if only you had agreed to have that operation...
I know you were scared....I know you had an awful phobia of Hospitals....but...if only you could have overcome that...I would still have my Mum....my best friend...by my side...
You told me you were fine...and that you would take your chances....I so so wish I could have made you change your mind....
I am so glad we got to spend so much time together....we shared so much...confided in each other all the time...We were like a 'Double act' when we were together....now that has gone forever...and I am truly lost...
I have such wonderful memories...memories of you, Dad, Jon and I...
Days out...meals...all our fun times at each Christmas we spent together.
I look back at the photos...and they make me smile...we had so much fun...
but...looking at them makes me feel so sad too...knowing we cannot add any more memories...
I know in my heart that I did all I could for you dear Mum...I never hurt you...lied to you...or let you down...for that i feel proud...and have a clear conscience....that is worth more than anything money can buy...
If only you were still here...if only...
I do so miss you Mum...
I always will...
Forever in my heart...there you will remain..
I love you Mum.
Kim.x.