As Gary's breathing had changed on Wednesday 7th September 2016, he went to bed around 11pm, I lay beside him listening to his breathing hoping it would not get any worse. It was around 1 am in the early hours of Thursday 8th of September 2016 that I realised his breathing was getting worse. I stated to Gary, "Gary I am telephoning NHS 111". When he did not disagree with me I knew he was deteriorating. Telephoning NHS 111 was my first experience of doing so. However to cut a long story short. I was informed to take Gary to The Douglas clinic in Hamilton for a doctor to examine him. I got Gary out of his bed and drove to Hamilton with all the car windows open so as Gary could breath. Gary was seen by a doctor but he was so out of breath he managed to state to the doctor "Tricia will answer any questions you ask of me". I did. We were informed Gary would have to be admitted to WGH. The problem was that the ambulance could take a couple of hours. Gary stated to the doctor "Tricia will take me" I helped Gary back into our car and off I went to WGH. Gary was admitted straight away to an assessment ward. I waited in a small room while Gary was admitted and I knew that there is no way they will take a biopsy of Gary's lung in his condition. The nurse came to the room I was waiting in and stated to me that I could go home, she also stated that Gary would not be getting his lung scan in the morning. I had already figured that out. I went to Gary's bedside, I could not show how I was really feeling in front of Gary (Distraught and heartbroken). I hugged Gary and stated to him that what's happened is a temporary hitch and we will face this together, I am by his side always. I drove home and got home around 3am that morning. I lay on the couch as I could not sleep. I could not wait for the next day to dawn, so as I could contact the hospital to find out what kind of night Gary had. I said a prayer to God, and prayed that Gary would be alright.

Tricia Gary's partner.

On the 7th September 2016. Gary had looked up on the internet the cost of modernising our bathroom. At that time I believe that as Gary was off sick, due to his illness he was trying to, take his mind off of his diagnosis, pain and being off work. I would listen to his plans for our bathroom. Inside my heart was breaking. To this day I have kept all the information Gary ran off, regarding the type of bath, toilet etc. that he planned for our bathroom. Later that night all of a sudden Gary stated "I am going to bed" I noticed his breathing had become worse. I helped him to bed. It was 12.30hrs. I lay beside him and began to worry that his breathing was becoming worse. Gary did not want to go into hospital, but when I informed him I was telephoning NHS he made no objections. I knew Then that he was very ill.

Gary's partner. Tricia

Thursday 1st September 2016. Gary's medication had been changed by palliative care nurse on 31st August. However this change of medication was not relieving his pain. I telephoned the community palliative care nurse and aske her to visit Gary to review his medication. Palliative care nurse arranged to visit on the 2nd September. I was glad of this as watching Gary the person you love in pain is very stressful and all you can do is be with them constantly and try your best to comfort and support them.

Tricia Gary's loving partner

July already. Gary's birthday is the 20th July. (Call me an old sentimentalist), I have kept every birthday card I sent Gary in the 17 years we lived together. I have also kept all the Birthday cards he sent me, (all are very loving cards). He was good at picking theses cards, which maybe a surprise to people who knew him in the past as they probably did not think of Gary as showing his feelings in this way, but this was a side of Gary that I knew. I have also kept every valentine cards he sent me , I have also kept the ones he sent me. I think I must be a romantic at heart as well.

Tricia Gary's Loving partner.

Alas I am about to retire for the night. Nights can be so lonely. Patsy our dog keeps me company. I remember the day we both saw Patsy. Our first dog Patsy 1 we rescued from Bothwell cat and dog home (rescue center). She was a mixed breed between a Border Terrier and a Jack Russel. We both loved here until she passed away with old age. Patsy 2 was a dog how became ours due to the fact that the previous owner who bought her at 12 weeks of age after having her for one year did not want her anymore. Gary and I welcomed her into our home. Patsy 2 was more of a mix breed than Patsy 1. She has a bit of a Jack Russell in her, does not look anything like a Jack Russell but behaves like one. Patsy 2 is a breed of dog that is referred to a a mongrel. However we would not trade her for anything. I find Mongrel dogs are more intelligent than some breeds of dogs they have their own personality. Patsy 2 is certainly loyal and loving. When Gary came home on a Friday after working away all week she got excited to see him and when she heard his car coming into the drive way she would run up to the living room window see him arriving and then run into the kitchen as that is the door we always entered into the house and she would be so excited to see him He would always state "hello Patsy, ok its me I missed you as well". She would then calm down. Patsy 2 is now 11 years old. I will go to bed tonight taking comfort in knowing she is in her basket beside me. I know Gary would be pleased she is watching over me.

Patricia Gary's loving partner. XXX

Call it fate which a lot of people believe in and to a certain extent do I. The first I every heard Gary's voice was over the telephone May 1999. I remember thinking he had a distinctive voice, not just a distinctive voice, an honest voice but a person who has experienced life and the problems that that he had experienced not just in his personal, but also in his work life. As we got talking I Gary a few personal questions remember this was back in early 1999. Gary in formed he drank he, He smoked and he had false teeth. I thought he was kidding me I had never smoked in my life I do not false teeth and I very rarely drink. When he told me this I though he was joking.

'Ah' another tear 4 lockdown. Still I have my happy memories of the life Gary and I shared together to see me through. Visited Gary's grave in Bent cemetery, Hamilton on Sunday and laid fresh carnations on his grave. With so much uncertainty in the world today it would be nice to have Gary here by my side. I would offer him support as he would to me. At least I take comfort in knowing I can visit his grave as often as I can and take comfort in doing so. I also visit his parents grave at the same time and ask them to look Gary. Silly I may be but it does give me comfort knowing that he is reunited with his parents, not in the same plot but in the afterlife.

Tricia XXX

I visited Gary's grave today in Bent Cemetery, just to let him know how I was getting on in life since he passed. I know he would like to know. I placed fresh flowers on his grave and said a little prayer and spoke to him as I always do when I visit his grave. I am 63years of age, the same age as Gary was when he passed away due to Lung Cancer. I often wonder if they will ever find a cure for Cancer. I hope and pray they do. As the Covid situation continues I wonder what Gary would have thought of it all. It would be wonderful if he was still with me here on earth as we could discuss and support each other through it. But not to worry my memories of Gary and our life together keeps my spirits up.

Tricia XXX