I miss you 💔

Such a small sentence to describe what im feeling.

Today is the first fathers day without you (gran) Dad, and i miss you so much. I miss the bear hugs from you when i was upset, i miss the way you would tinker on and fix things, and the smell of your aftershave, and how you would never say sorry even if you were wrongI I miss your acceptance of me and my flaws, the strength i saw from you when i was a kid, and the daft songs you used to sing to us. I miss talking to you about the ‘way things used to be in your day’, sitting watching that Walker Texas Ranger every Sunday with you, your guidance when i asked for it and your unconditional love. I miss your smile and your mutley laugh, your advice and the safe space your arms offered me.

Although I can’t see you with my eyes, i can feel you in my heart.

Happy heavenly fathers day (my real) Dad, and when i say ‘i miss you’, what im really saying is ….my heart is broken 💔💔

To my real dad, Colin Sanderson,


You were the most amazing father anyone could ever ask for. It's hard to put into words exactly what you meant to me, I feel anything I say couldn't possibly express adequately the impact you've had on my life or what you gave me, nothing could truly encompass every moment of parenting you did to shape me into the person I am today, I'll simply start with, you were the best man I ever knew or are yet to meet. You have left a whole in my heart that can never be filled, that part belongs to you, I will miss and love you forever.

You gave me a home and a family, you gave me so much, all those happy memories, they stem from the home you made for all of us, I'm eternally grateful to you for that. You were amazing, you were everything. There was so much to love about you, I miss your laugh and smile the most, how you smelled whenever I hugged you, how you walked, stood, moved, how you got so overly dramatic whenever you were excited about something, but most of all I miss your warmth and your heart. You wore your feelings on your sleeve, always saying I love you son and always giving me hugs and kisses as a child and as an adult, you never changed, thank you for being who you were.

I really miss our phone calls as I walked to the shops, you were always on my mind, and I know you were always thinking of me too because at the end of every call you would say, "we're always thinking of you" and, "as long as you're alright, we're alright", it would be hard to end the phone call without saying, “love you” around twenty times. I'm glad we spoke like that.

Lastly, I may have called you Grandad my entire life, but I always meant dad, you were my dad, you always will be, nobody can ever take that away. So dad, I wanted to say thank you, for raising me, for everything you did, the love I feel for you is forever. You will be in my heart always.

we've said goodbye before, we'll say hello again.

I love you dad, rest in peace