International women’s day.
Prompted me to think of mum. Born into poverty with a very tough Irish mother, who never hugged her and was not a positive role model.
I spent a huge amount of time with Big Nanny and can verify this.
Mum born into the war era and suffered her first born dying within weeks. Never quite recovering from this and dealing with lifelong depression and lacking self esteem.
Through this she managed to safely bring up the rest of her 8 children mostly single handed. She managed the house, what little finances she had. Making our clothes, decorating, gardening, fixing and helping the local community.
She helped deliver babies, help with burning chimneys, crying neighbours, cooked for the local elderly and started a local playgroup before they were common place.
Caring for my dying father at home in the living room, nursed and washed him.
There were times when she was impulsive and made wrong decisions and times when her melancholy overwhelmed her.
Inherently wanting love and affection and trying to chase rainbows that were out of reach, a little misunderstood. Very frustrating at times but never I can now appreciate what a difficult time she had and accept that mothers/women are never perfect.
She was a product of her upbringing.
Through all that the adversity that we all as a family experienced at one time or another made us who we are. Helping in some ways and leaving its mark in others. I now look back and can see she (with our dad) tried the very best in very challenging circumstances. She was a very strong woman and I wish I could tell her and thank her.
❤️:
08/03/2024