I would have liked to put a message on your page on Christmas Day like I was once able to do before The Sentinal "improved" their system. I have to this the day before which really is not emotionally suitable.....................

Gill I miss you so very much especially was you loved preparing for Christmas. We enjoyed out drive down to my sisters with you mum and my dad and those Christmas's were the best ever...... Why do things have to change.....I miss you so much and I cling to those memories like a drowning man. I shall be looking for you as a bright star in the sky to guide me! Love You John XXXX

I started singing the original song and realised I was singing it to Gill so I changed the words a little

Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',
On this, our wedding day.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',

Wait for me

I do not know what fate awaits me.
I only know I must be brave.
For I must face a fear of losing you
Or lie a coward, a lonely coward,
or lie a coward in my grave

Oh, to be torn between love an' duty.
I’m about to lose my brown-haired beauty.
Look at that big hand move along, Nearing that hour.
We made a vow to care for each other
Vowed we would love each other forever,
I'm not afraid of death but, oh, what shall I do,
When you leave me?

Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin':
You made that promise as a bride.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin'.
Although you're leavin', I can’t help greivin’,
Now that I need you by my side.

Wait for me, Wait for me
Wait for me Wait for me.

I have been through a pretty rough patch just recently with so many aches and pains that I was beginning to think they would never go away. Back, shoulder and hip all came at once but I always kept saying to myself "You're not and as bad as some but not as good as others!" I always thought of you fighting MND.....a battle you would never win!

I have never taken so many painkillers which then upset my tum. There was just one vital bit of medication I was not able to take and that was a simple reassuring hug from you. These are the things I miss so much and all the money in the world cannot buy such missed moments. The damp, dark, cold days hang heavy and not being able to just share a cup of coffee with you hurts so much. There isn't a hour that goes by that I don't think of you and it seems that the bad times flash back more than the good. I've tried to keep myself occupied by helping out where I can but that just drained me of all energy which did little to help me "go on each day" What was once a "piece of cake" to me now becomes a huge mountain to climb. I miss your inspiration, your affection, your warmth..... I just miss you so much sweetheart as you were also my one and only best friend too.

I love you so much it hurts

John XXXX