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Helpful things you can say to someone who is grieving

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Published 01/07/2021
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What to say to someone who is grieving

Grief. There is no avoiding it and it is something all of us will experience in our lives. Whether you've experienced the loss of a loved one or not, no two people grieve in the same way so it can be hard to find the words to say.

Writing for, Courtney Pochin says: "There's no magic wand you can wave to end their heartbreak, but choosing your words carefully could be helpful."

The Mirror journalist goes on to look at popular social media platform TikTok - where a number of people have been sharing their grief stories, letting people know their thoughts on the 'best' and 'worst' things to say to people who are grieving.
The first TikTok account featured belongs to a woman named Jen Nilsson, who uses the username @lensofjen. Jen shared a video featuring suggestions of things to say and do to someone who is grieving.
According to Courtney these include:

"..comforting words, telling them you are sorry for their loss, letting them know you are there for them as well as sharing your favourite memories of that person.

Encouraging them to talk about the loved one they have lost, sharing memories or their favourite thing about them can also be helpful for some people. And she stresses that it's okay not to say anything, as sometimes there are no words - a hug speaks volumes."

What shouldn't you say to someone who is grieving?

Another user @laurenashleystudios, uses her TikTok account to talk about her experiences of loss having lost her partner within the last year. Talking about her own grief journey, she points out which words and phrases can cause additional pain, regardless of how well meaning they are.

Courtney writes: "She claims you should never ask someone when they're going to get over their grief - even if it's been a long time. It's also worth avoiding asking what happened to the person they lost, as they might not be ready to talk about it yet.

And one final saying that might seem helpful, but probably won't do as much good as you think is 'there's a reason for everything'."
Read Courtney's story in full on

For additional articles on ways to cope with grief, check out our previous blogs here.

If you are struggling with grief, Cruse Bereavement Care are here to support you.
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